Today my little one and I take on our very first mom and babe yoga class. I have to say I’m pretty curious as to what exactly this entails, because at this moment all I can picture is that strange animated dancing baby doing a sun salutation (I have a pretty creative imagination, ha.) Anyways, we’re pretty excited to meet other moms and their little ones. It seems since becoming a mom I’ve become slightly less socially savvy with other adults. I think it may have a something to do with the fact that I spend 98% of my time speaking in a cheerful and enthusiastic voice about colors, toys, and explaining what ‘mommy is doing’ step by step. From what I remember about pre-baby socializing, adults don’t particularly enjoy being spoken to in this way. Funny thing, eh? So in my free moments I try to talk to friends and family (via text, facebook, etc) in hopes that I won’t completely lose my social skills. Don’t get me wrong though, I absolutely love playing and interacting with my little girl. I mean what grown-up doesn’t love being able to be totally silly, lay on the floor, make funny noises, play with toys, and dance around making funny faces? Common’ now, it’s just as much fun for you as it is your child. However, finding a balance of baby vs. adult time has been a bit of a challenge.
Being a mom is SO much more than I thought it was going to be. When I was younger I had this preconceived idea of what being a parent was. Once I found out I was pregnant, it’s as if I was waiting for this pivotal moment where everything in my life would be completely different and it would all fall perfectly into place. I would magically be Martha Stuart at home and I’d have all these mommy friends to have play dates with. Boy was I wrong. I went from working 8-12 hours a day as an Office Manager for an orthopaedic surgeon, to spending 99% of my time home alone with the baby while the mister went to work. The list of friends I had pre-baby was significantly shortened due to, what I can only speculate was, the fact that I could no longer do things on a whim or go out and party. Which to be honest was and still is totally alright with me because I have different interests, values, and goals now. However, to get back on point, in the first few months of being a mom I felt completely lost and disconnected. The ‘mommy knowledge’ I thought I would have didn’t just magically pop in my head and I didn’t have friends with (or without) children lining up to go on play dates/hang out. So the few friends I have with children have become very near and dear to me, both as resources of information and someone to talk and relate to. As for my friends without children they allow me to focus on me, my interests, and their stories/experiences. In short, I get to take a small break from being ‘mommy.’
Joining a local breastfeeding group, mom and babe yoga, and multiple mommy groups on Facebook is what I’ve done to re-enter the adult social circle and it’s helped me (in so many ways) make a graceful transition into mommyhood. So if you’re feeling disconnected, left out, socially awkward (what I felt and still feel at times), all I can say is get out and find people with similar interests/lifestyles. Interacting with other women who are going through the same life changes, difficulties, and emotional ups and downs is the best way to reconnect with yourself, make lifelong friends, and not to mention it’s a huge boost to your confidence.
Biggest lesson learned so far in motherhood? YOU’RE NOT ALONE. You might be socially awkward, feel alone, get overwhelmed, fall behind on cleaning, not leave the house some days, not wear a bra some days, leave the house with puke on your clothes, skip showering for days, etc. But in all honesty don’t be afraid to openly talk to someone about it. I was really surprised and extremely relieved to hear someone say “me too!”
PLEASE NOTE: If you are experiencing any signs of postpartum depression, don’t hesitate to talk to a doctor. It’s no joke, and in this case it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Well, I think I’ve gone on enough : )