The Mommy Wars

I’ve finally mastered the art of mommyhood!….well not exactly, but I am certainly feeling a lot more confident.

The little miss and I are starting to establish a routine and I can now say I’m comfortable in my role as a mother. I don’t second guess my decisions near as much, I’ve ditched the judgemental mindset, and I have realized my love for everything child related. Not only do I feel excited for what’s to come with my own little one I find myself wanting to learn more and help other families, specifically moms.

It’s this love of being a parent that has led me to join a handful of mommy groups and multiple online communities. Overall these groups have provided a sense of camaraderie and a great source for support. However not all interactions are positive, whether they be in person or from behind a keyboard. It has come to my attention (repeatedly I might add) that judgement, ridicule, lack of compassion, and blatant disregard for respect are becoming more common things among mothers. This makes me sad in so many ways.

I call these the mommy wars.

We as mothers have one of the most difficult jobs in the entire world as far as I’m concerned. We have to make decisions that will break our hearts, make us second guess ourselves, put us in the doghouse with our children, spouse, friends, or family, and most importantly will shape our children’s’ future. So knowing we carry this tremendous responsibility, how it that we feel we have the right to condemn others for making these decisions to the best of their abilities?

Whether it’s breastfeeding vs. formula, cloth diapers vs. disposable, when we introduce solids, vegetarian/vegan vs. eating meat, immunizations, teething necklaces, co-sleeping, sleeping in a crib, discipline, natural/organic products, or the way we give birth, there always seems to be a battle to fight.

Now on top of being our own biggest critic and the stress of making these decisions, we are forced to defend them! Come on ladies, seriously? I firmly believe that we, more than anyone else, should be supporting each other. I mean no offence but men just don’t understand women, especially moms, and women who are not mothers don’t fully understand some of the things that come with being a parent. (Not to discredit anyone who is not a mother by any means. Life if difficult in other ways, I know.) Only we know first hand what it’s like, and even though we don’t all go through the exact same things we still know how difficult (yet rewarding) it really is.

So I’m challenging every mother who reads this to stop yourself when you’re about to scorn another for her decisions (mentally or out loud.) Maybe what she’s doing isn’t your cup of tea, but it’s not your cup of tea to swallow. You don’t know what led her to make these decisions, but I’m sure you can recall all the choices you were once given and making your own.

I think it’s time we show a little more compassion and empathy towards one another. This beautiful thing called motherhood has been gifted to us. We should be spending it learning, laughing, teaching, and loving as much as humanly possible.

Let’s kick this negativity.

Let’s help each other be the best women we can be; for ourselves, for each other, and for our children.

 

V

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